guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
