Jerry, you need to find god
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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