Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
