Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
