i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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