I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize