It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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