peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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