I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was like eating out sand paper
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize