I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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