Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
