how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my liver is dry heaving
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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