Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize