So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize