ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
