I think I died a long time ago.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
