We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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