either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
