my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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