the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
