Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
