Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The ass gains better be worth it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
