After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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