The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
