I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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