Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
