Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize