if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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