Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
