who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
