Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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