Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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