Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize