she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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