If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize