How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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