Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
