quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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