You just made me feel so damn special
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize