....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
