i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
