was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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