Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
