so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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