He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
