so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think your dad took our porno
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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