how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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