New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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