she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
