Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
