did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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