this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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