And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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