Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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