So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
