he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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