And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
