She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Randomize
