I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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