u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
