just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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